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14 de mayo de 2009

Autoestima literaria

Hoy he mantenido una conversación de lo más interesante con un amigo y compañero en estas lides de ir escribiendo en los ratos libres. Sí, esos que quedan cuando llegas a las cuatro de la tarde después de trabajar a kilómetros de casa, después de dar clase a adolescentes, o hacer el intento, atender a los padres de esos adolescentes, corregir exámenes, ver uno o dos pisos con intención de compra, hacer números para ver si llegamos o no a la hipoteca, reservándonos un "cachito" de esperanza para que el banco diga "sí", y un largo etcétera. Que osadía escribir algo decente con las cuatro neuronas convalecientes que te quedan...
Mi amigo, con la autoestima bajo mínimos desde que no paran de rechazarle manuscritos en varias editoriales, ve como su admirable y férrea voluntad se quiebra al ver en el periódico continuamente en presentaciones de obras propias o presentando a colegas, en charlas, coloquios y entrevistas a algunos conocidos más mediocres que él (porque eso se sabe, qué puñetas), que se dedican a esto de juntar letras (y cobran por ello, y mucho) me decía esta mañana: a lo mejor no tengo suficiente calidad literaria. A lo mejor no escribo bien.
Quizás mi amigo tenga razón. Y somos muchos los que pretendemos hacernos sitio en un mundo donde lo que importa es que seas un estratega de los contactos sociales, y el "estar en el sitio adecuado en el momento adecuado". ¿Así de azaroso es todo?
Me temo que sí. Me ha hecho reflexionar sobre el motivo que me impulsa a escribir, ¿qué es lo que persigo? ¿Qué perseguimos?
Quizás mi amigo se equivoca. Y sí que escribe bien. ¿Quién hay para juzgarle? ¿Tribunales censuradores que examinan continuamente a los noveles? No sé, no sé... Los criterios, por más que los busco en internet, no los encuentro. Para dedicarse a escribir, poder publicar, que te den la oportunidad de que te lean, para cumplir un sueño, no hay oposiciones ni salen convocatorias públicas a las que apuntarse ni bolsas de interinidad ni sindicatos que luchen para que en los medios, por ejemplo, no se promocione siempre a los mismos.
Y sin querer las carcajadas me sobrevienen cuando me insinua el erudito y docto de turno: preséntate a concursos...
Volviendo a los baremos que miden a los buenos escritores y escritoras, confieso que antes no sabía tampoco que era buena literatura o mala literatura. Era más pura, más natural, y leía lo que me daba la real gana, y me gustaba lo que me gustaba. Lo que me hacía feliz era para mí buena literatura. Aquel libro cuyo lenguaje estaba tallado con mimo, para deleite del autor y del lector, con una trama emocionante capaz de conectar con algún mecanismo interno y personal que convierte ese libro en algo especial, parte de la historia de uno mismo.
A estas alturas, que alguien me explique que es eso de escribir bien o escribir mal, tener categoría literaria, calidad, chispa, carisma, etc.
A lo mejor no son sinónimos estos términos, y aluden a conceptos bien diferentes.
Conozco (todos conocemos) escritores y escritoras sin calidad literaria en absoluto, pero que venden libros, viven de ello y tienen carisma, chispa, mucha categoría social o prestigio, o como puñetas se llame esa situación en la que todos te hacen la pelota continuamente.
Escritores y escritoras que van camino de engrosar una amplia trayectoria de publicaciones infumables, pero en editoriales de renombre, camino de que se les ponga una fundación subvencionada, y con hordas de fans que hacen cola para que les firme un ejemplar del último best-seller de turno (el cortinglé debería vender estos libros con la firma del autor o autora ya incorporada).
También conozco escritoras y escritores de gran calidad literaria, pero sin chispa ninguna, ni carisma, ni habilidades sociales, ni tendencia política declarada o militancia (en el partido que pega fuerte, por norma general), sin adhesiones a hipócritas grupos ni asociacionismos absurdos, ni con cuota fija en ningún club de gente culta y docta en letras y eventos de índole cultureta. Por norma general estos autores (y autoras, que hay que hablar y escribir así desde que la de Alcalá se viste "guay" para salir en la tele hablando de que mis alumnas descerebradas de dieceséis años pueden abortar cuando les plazca, o lo que es peor, en vez de comer gusanitos engullan píldoras postcoitales, pero de eso hablaré otro día) escriben en la sombra, escriben porque lo necesitan, lo hacen bien, y aún así se sienten acomplejados en el fondo o están ninguneados por no aborregarse como un monigote más del politiqueo.
Siempre hay excepciones, claro está, y hay autores (ahora generalizo con el masculino y punto) que también conozco que están en el punto medio, en su justo medida, virtuosos ellos, que escriben de forma aceptada por la sociedad y las ferias del libro del momento, y además escriben obras de calidad. Pero son los menos.
En todos los gremios hay manchas, un lado oscuro justo detrás de la cara de la luna que vemos, y brilla y embruja...
Es fácil dejarse aturdir por el resplandor de los cáterings a posteriori en una presentación de un libro propio, con lleno hasta la bandera, halagos por doquier y críticas formidables a diestro y siniestro.
Pero los laureles son efímeros, duran poco. Luego llega el día a día, la aceptación de la gente, el jugar a rol en vivo prácticamente maquinando estrategias para entrar en este o aquel círculo, para que fulanita de tal que es presidenta de la asociación pascual te admita como "uno de ellos" y entres a formar parte del engranaje de los que "escriben bien".
A mi amigo le comentaba esta mañana que me he sentido perdida.
Yo tampoco sé si escribo bien o mal. Pero lo que tengo claro es que he aprendido mucho, en poco tiempo, y ahora sí sé discernir aquello que me importa.
Y lo que realmente merece la pena es escribir, como afición, pasión, necesidad. Para comunicarnos, para enamorarnos, para sufrir y erotizarnos también. No hay que perder de vista las historias, los personajes, las letras, los versos, las palabras exactas con el color exacto de ese pensamiento que viene y te besa en plena noche, para que lo guardes en los labios hasta el día siguiente en que lo dejes salir concibiendo un poema más.
Y creo que si me lo propongo, encontraré la esencia y las respuestas: volver a cuando era una niña y leía, y escribía cuentos y poemas para llenar los ratos de soledad y aburrimiento. Y grapaba las cuartillas formando libritos, y los ilustraba, y me los autoeditaba (la autoedición no es ninguna deshonra, es un acto de amor) haciéndoles una portada con títulos sugerentes a base de letras grandes que coloreaba con mis rotuladores, y los regalaba a mis padres, a mis primos, a mis amigos,...
O cuando contaba relatos de terror a las compañeras del cole, y lograba que lloraran de miedo...
Eso es literatura (lo sé, y mala leche también).
Escribir para llenar huecos, y no para ser políticamente correcto.
Por ello mi amigo y yo debemos mantener la autoestima literaria alta, y seguir escribiendo, porque sí que hay un hueco para nosotros, y seremos inmensamente ricos. Llenaremos las alforjas de cariño y reconocimiento, si nos mantenemos íntegros en aquello que creemos.
Y a quien no le guste, que no mire...

81 comentarios:

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O sea que es cuestión de esa mala leche... :)

Vale, vale... Aprenderé :D

Mientras tanto sigo esperando, y me quedo mirando hacia el lado bueno.

Antonio dijo...

Bonita reflexión.
Yo no escribo, sólo leo.
Pero creo,, y en eso coincido contigo, que lo realmente importante es el amor con el que uno hace las cosas, poner el alma, disfrutar y luego ya lo demás.......

Antonio Serrano Cueto dijo...

Querida Charo, en los pagos literarios abunda lo que en otros ámbitos de la vida: intereses ajenos a lo sustancial (en este caso, la literatura) que mueven los dineros y los favores. Como todo en las últimas décadas, el mundo literario sufre una inflación considerable: se escribe muchísimo, se publica demasiado y se lee poco. Y es precisamente esta exagerada producción editorial, tan sobrada de libros de ínfima calidad, la que oculta y silencia con su hojarasca el trabajo callado de buenos escritores en busca de una oportunidad. La cosa, sin duda, es más difícil ahora que hace cincuenta años, porque si no tienes un hueco en el engranaje mediático, tus escritos estarán condenados a un círculo de íntimos o, con mucha suerte, de vecinos del pueblo. Lo que me sorprende es que tú, que eres joven, desfallezcas. Yo tengo 44 años, llevo casi 20 de profesor universitario, he publicado más de cuarenta trabajos en el ámbito de la investigación universitaria y hace un par de años he recuperado el placer de escribir poesía y relatos (lo hacía a menudo antes de dedicarme a la Universidad). Pues bien, nunca pensé que fuera tan complicado publicar en este terreno. Ya ves, yo que tengo libros en AKAL y el CSIC... Pero la vida universitaria me ha mostrado precisamente lo que tú dices: estar en el sitio adecuado, tomarse la copa con la persona adecuada y, en el caso de muchos premios literarios, saber soplar con sutileza (o sin ella) el seudónimo. Aquello de "¿y de lo mío qué?" no es ajeno al mundo editorial. Parece que asistimos a una especie de Operación Triunfo de la literatura, donde interesa sacar a jovencitos con perilla y mochila y atiborrarlos de menciones y premios, mientras escritores sólidos y de largo aliento (que es lo que importe, en definitiva), se quedan sin el más mínimo reconocimiento. Recuerda que en la República de las Letras hay mucho velocista que se cansa pronto; lo importante es ser corredor de fondo, aunque la soledad sea más grande. Un beso y ánimo.

Rosario Troncoso dijo...

A Adr Y a Antonio: Gracias por estar ahí, refugiados en la belleza de las sombras virtuales, donde la amistad se hace palabra. Gracias amigos.
Antonio Serrano: No sabes cuánta razón tienes...Gracias por el ánimo, pero no desfallezco, sólo grito de rabia, rabia contenida a veces, que necesito echar fuera para que no necrose el impulso que me mueve a seguir haciendo lo que más me gusta: escribir.
He visto muchas cosas en poco tiempo, y aunque soy joven aún, he tenido la "suerte" de aprender aceleradamente a seleccionar aquello, no que es bueno o malo, ya que no soy quien ni tengo edad aún para saberlo, pero sí aquello que me duele.
He aprendido a alejarme de lo que me hace daño, de lo que me deja heridas en el alma, que aunque a veces son inevitables para sobrevivir, como una vacuna que te hace inmune a lo que está por venir, te vacían tanto que se siente el frío en las raíces.
Tengo la suerte de contar en mi círculo de amigos y compañeros en esta pasión común por la literatura, a gente tan sincera y "normal" como tú, como José Manuel, como Mercedes, y un largo etcétera.
Aquellas personas de las que pretendo alejarme, no son personas quizás con nombre y apellidos concretos, son entidades, o mejor dicho, entes o energías que a veces percibo, y obstaculizan el altruísmo, la solidaridad entre compañeros y el verdadero amor a las letras.
Lo de la Operación Triunfo de poetas lo hablamos en una mesa de debate en el encuentro toruñero, y es cierto ¿sabías que ya existe un concurso así?
Y sí, ahora somos muchos para todo, demasiados.
Yo mantengo la esperanza en que la buena voluntad, el buen hacer, el apasionamiento sincer, en una palabra, la vocación, se impone al final.
Y eso se nota.
Por mi carácter rebelde y mi mal genio, a veces me cabreo con el mundo, y me da rabia que me malinterpreten cuando busco un sitio para mi, pero también lo hago para aquellos en los que creo.
Gracias Antonio.
Y sigamos escribiendo, sigamos en la brecha, que no podrán con nosotros. Que tu gran talento ya está siendo recompensado. ¿Lo ves? Tarda el triunfo en llegar, pero al final, ganan los buenos.
Un beso.

Ignacio Lobo dijo...

me alegra mucho leer esto. Creo que darse cuenta de las limitaciones que nos rodean nos puede liberar de ciertas presiones, y nos debe reafirmar en nuestro convencimiento de que la lectura y la escritura se deben hacer por gusto, por necesidad vital.

un besote

Francisco dijo...

No se si tengo el derecho de opinar en sitios en los que antes que yo lo han hecho grandes maestros (y con esto de maestro no me refiero a maestros de escuela, sino a maestros de la vida) ya que me queda mucho (por no decir todo) por aprender, pero lo único que se es que esto de escribir se lleva dentro ( hay personas que nos damos cuenta más tarde que otras) y con cada palabra que se escribe se deja parte del alma. Si se es conocido o no eso para mí es secundario, lo que más importa (ojo, lo digo desde mi inexperiencia) es que disfruten de lo que uno escribe.
Si que es verdad que hay escritores en la sombra que escriben mil veces mejor que los que están a pleno sol, pero lo único que nos queda es hablar de ellos para que algún día se les reconozca su trabajo y empeño.
Yo no sé si escribo mal o bien, solo sé que escribo porque lo necesito.

el inefable Alonso dijo...

No sé. pero a mí esto me suena a lo típico de "no, no, si yo lo pregunto por un amigo que..." o bien "que tengo yo un amigo que... resulta que... a MI AMIGO... le gusta una chica y....". Vaya, que no digo que sea así, pero que suena como el clásico discurso de ofendido/a pero centrando el asunto en un "amigo" para no quedar de quejica.

Fuera como fuera, como razón no te falta (o a tu amigo) pues aplaudido queda el comentario.
Es cierto; hay mucha gente que no escribe una mierda (hablando bien y lento) y tienen libros publicados. Desde novelas plagiadas de gente que se presentó a concursos en lso que el tipo en cuestión era jurado hasta libros de poesía de gente que no sabría lo que es un buen soneto ni aunque le estuviera haciendo una colonoscopia de catorce versos con instrumental de dromedarios.

Es cierto. El mundillo literario apesta. Coedición, bajada de pantalones, "favorcitos"... en fin. Por lo menos todavía quedan espacios como este donde despotricar un poco de todo sin mojarse del todo en casi nada.

Abrazo fuerte!

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Apart from producing purchases through product sales, obtaining in bulk can conserve you loads of money. Its continuously fine to break recipients into a number of groups main - near household, loved ones, near good friends, acquaintances, colleagues - you receive the concept. Performing so makes it possible for you to organize your purchasing more suitable. That stated I only have two recipient groups - instant loved ones and other people.

Obviously you'll desire to purchase additional private and thoughtful presents for that people today closer for you. But for much more generic presents, I advise pack hunting, which can be just like pack hunting, only nicer.

Pack buying right here usually means gathering a few of buddies with comparable searching lists after which purchasing in bulk to carry benefit of economies of scale. I usually pack store with two other folks in relation to generic presents. You are going to discover that you'll be able to get surely great presents like wine glasses at definitely superb rates whenever you pack store.

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